T'Mahk Too: My Head A Splode

November 8, 2006

My Head A Splode

Did you see that mushroom cloud over Michigan a little while ago?

Close your windows, cover your mouth with a tissue, 'cause there's some toxic nuclear waste spreading out rapidly from my location. It might even include a few swear words, I'm not sure because my brain melted out my ears.

Why? you ask, as you run for cover ...

Because there was CAT POOP ON MY BED.

And the door to the basement, where the REAL cat boxes live, was open. Unobstructed. There was a clear path to the place where poodoo should go. And the boxes aren't horrible. And there IS No Excuse. And I see no evidence of dingleberratory blame.

The only problem with my nuclear brain explosion is that apparently the cats are shielded, somehow. Lead fur? They are still alive. I've wiped Michigan off the map but the cats are still here.

What do you think? Should I try to freecycle them? Open the door and give them a little shove and pretend not to notice when they're found dead in the street in about 3 minutes?

ARGH. Stupid cats who were our babies before we had babies. Who are still nice cats in their own aloof cat way, but who are making our lives miserable with their "oops, I was standing in the box but accidentally peed over the edge" and their "well, the box was a few inches over to the left yesterday, so I thought, close enough" and now the "hey, mom's bed looks like a litter box to me!"

What I need is some sort of emotionobotomy so that I don't CARE and can, therefore, get rid of them in a detached, unemotional sort of way.

Or someone to step forward and make me nice promises of them going to live in the happy cat farm. Even if it's not true. Just don't tell me where they ARE going. Tell me they're going to a happy home. I don't know.

Oh, and I also need a big efficient front loading washing machine because this king sized befouled bedding doesn't really fit in my washer all that well.

Posted by Kim at November 8, 2006 11:38 AM

Comments

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry!!!

One of my cats likes to do the "hit or miss" call on the liter box. Why or why must they test our patience? We do nothing but love them and feed them and give them a safe, cozy home.

If only they could understand our ranting....

Posted by: Christina at November 8, 2006 1:59 PM

Ugh. Poor you!! Cat poop in obviously 'wrong' places is often a sign that kitty is unhappy about something (which, of course, leads to the question...WHAT could a pampered kitty be unhappy about??) or possibly sick (could s/he have eaten something unusual that made the intestines move a little quicker?).

We had to find a new home for one of our former cats who was completely traumatized by our move to the West Coast...she started peeing everywhere, including yes, my bed. Sad...but she had to go. I think pee is worse than poop, personally as an 'oops' can quickly turn into a "hey...I've marked it, it's mine" sort of thing.

As far as the 'missing the box' problem, you may want to consider covered litter boxes...a bit more of a pain to clean, but they keep things contained WAY better than their open counterparts.

Thanks, by the way, for the explanation of the rumbling heard in these parts. Locally we were concerned that Mt. St. Helen was ramping up, but now, knowing the source, I"ll rest a little easier ;)

Hope you AND the kitties survive this!!!

Posted by: karin at November 8, 2006 2:24 PM

Sounds like the symptoms of OLD cats. My mama just lost her 16 yo old siamese - and she's grieving terribly. She dealt with potty all over the house for about 3 years. His brother still lives, but his obit has been put into the Yahoo space/time capsule.

Posted by: Sombra at November 8, 2006 2:37 PM

Kim...our experience with this leads me to warn you that your cats may be ill. One of ours started having lots of accidents, and then "suddenly" lost a great deal of weight ("suddenly" means it took me a while to notice). By the time we took him to the vet, he was well in the last stages of kidney failure.

We chose to put him down, which was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. He was our baby before our human babies as well. But in hindsight, we learned two things: (1) We did the right thing, and (2) I got over it a lot quicker than I ever would have thought possible, considering how fiercely I love my cats.

So, I HIGHLY recommend that you have your cats checked over, if you haven't recently done so, and then do what you have to do. You can't have cats defecating everywhere with babies in the house.

Love, Betsy

Posted by: Betsy at November 8, 2006 2:49 PM

Hm. I was gonna ask what exactly you did to Princess Misplaced! But with the rest of the entry, you pretty much explain it. Oh, you poor cat people. So sad. I won't tell you the tale of the cat and the tinsel and the flying dingleberries. Too cruel.

Posted by: Peggy at November 8, 2006 5:25 PM

I can't believe that you still have those cats! Weren't you having troubles with them many years ago too?

Posted by: Rosanne at November 8, 2006 6:40 PM

Oh dear, I'm so sorry the cats are such a source of annoyance for you. If D. agrees, it is probably time to give them to someone who can truly appreciate them and give them the attention and time I think they need and deserve.
Would take them myself if I were in a different situation.
Signed,
Crazy Cat Lady

Posted by: Linda at November 8, 2006 8:40 PM

My 12 year old cat pooped on my husband's side of the bed last night, she has never done this before but chose his side and it wasn't pretty. There was some blood in her stool as well which concerns me. I grew up around a vet clinic and I know how costly things can get with an animal.

I think I will be calling the vet today and inquiring about getting the needle for her. I don't want to be I've seen a lot of animals suffer due to selfish owners. I just don't want to do that to her.

Posted by: Cindy at November 20, 2006 9:04 AM

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