The Best Layered Plans of Mice and Men

It all started in late November. The Grand Lunar had a work dinner to attend, and I got to go along as his lovely wife. It was actually the day I planned to return to following The McDougall Plan for healthy eating, but I suspended that for a day, on the rationale that I hadn't really started eating healthy yet.

So anyway, we dined at Molly's and I had as my side dish something in the family of Potatoes Dauphinois. It's name was actually much longer and fancier, but I remembered enough of it to look up recipes when I came home. The dish at Molly's was a layered potato dish, with much butter and garlic, and perhaps a bit of parmesan on top, but not heavily cheesy. It was layered almost 2" high, and cut into a very tidy square. It was also very flat, unlike the scallopy top of most potatoes au gratin dishes I've seen. Anyway, it was very good, and I decided I, too, could make such a thing.

So I surfed up some recipes, and found one or two that did not contain cheese. Most of these were butter-and-cream heavy, though. I decided to try it with vegetarian 'chicken' stock, to keep it in keeping with The Program.

The first time I attempted the recreation I used a lot of dried minced garlic and parsley as the seasoning. For some bizarre reason unknown to me. Because, you know, I don't really LIKE much parsley. What was I thinking? In the end, it was too garlicky and too parsleyeyeye, and nothing much else. The Grand Lunar politely ate his portion at dinner, but I was the lone consumer of the rather excessive amount of leftovers. And even I gave up after 2/3 of it was gone.

But, fondly remembering Molly, I didn't give up on my planned re-creation.

I thought if only I could season it more to my liking, we would love it. Cherish it. It would become a delightful family staple.

Then someone posted about some other dish that used potatoes and carrots and parsnips and sweet potatoes. And it reminded me that I used to sauté potatoes, carrots, and parsnips with onion and garlic in butter, seasoned with thyme. And liked it quite a bit. Why not make those veggies into the layers, with garlic and thyme seasoning (but a less heavy hand with the garlic, this time ...)

And so yesterday afternoon I peeled, peeled, peeled and sliced potatoes, a few carrots, a few parsnips, and sliced an onion. Well, actually, I used my KitchenAid Slicer Attachment to slice the root vegetables, then had the turns-out-not-to-be-brilliant idea to run the onion through the slicer, too. It slimed and shredded the onion into an unusable mass, answering the unasked question, "Why not throw the onion in there, too?" ... so I had to hand-slice a second onion.

I did try to go light on the parsnips and carrots, knowing they would be less well received, and that even I myself only like a smidgeon of cooked carrots and such. I find them a strange sweet that I don't enjoy. But I thought they'd look pretty. Sometimes you have to go for the artsy fartsy in a dish, right?

So then, with great confidence in finally achieving this soon to be cherished family dish, I began layering the slices. So confident was I, in fact, that I took artsy pictures of the making-of. Because, really, I planned for it to be beautiful and delicious.

See here the lovely layering of the dish! First the potatoes, then onions, then more potatoes, then a thin layer of parsnips, more potatoes, a thin layer of carrots, finishing with the last of the potatoes. Spices were sprinkled prettily across some potato layers:

At some point, too, I got it in my head that it would be nice with a 'cheezy' topping. It would brown and be pretty, like real cheese, and it might add a nice flavor for the children to enjoy, if the potatoes weren't their favorite. So I whipped that up, poured it over for the last bit of baking, and cut tidy slices to be served.

It does look nice, doesn't it? Even without the artsy fartsy presentation? Even without the butter, and without being layered 2 inches high?

But it was a complete and total flop.

Oh, not inedible. The Grand Lunar, as always, sweetly ate his portion, although perhaps wishing I had given him a try-me bite, as well. One or two of the children actually tried theirs, the others filled up on fruit salad. I ate a second helping to put on a brave front and be a good example. It wasn't horrible. But it certainly wasn't a keeper.

I can not seem to let go of the idea that it wasn't a bad idea.

Maybe it was just our family's finicky tastes. Maybe if I'd left out the carrots ... certainly if I'd left out the parsnips ... perhaps if I had made a smaller dish, piled higher, to attain the impressive 2" tall portion ... perhaps if I'd cooked it a bit longer, or used a lighter touch on the lemon juice in the 'cheezy' sauce ...

But I doubt I'll get up the courage to try a third time. Apparently in this venue, two strikes and you're out.