March 2, 2007
I'm a bad blogger
sorry I haven't had any witty, clever entries lately. Ever? Well, since the lint one, anyway.
Really, the last few days, most of what goes through my head is whining.
It's like this. I really wanted to eat healthy. Stick to the program. Eat plenty, but of healthy foods.
But guess what? I feel ucky and none of them sound good. Even the ones I like, like the cabbage salad, don't sound good. I made a salad for The Grand Lunar and it had this overwhelming smell of *cut vegetation* ... and I didn't want any.
Someone asked me if I have other symptoms besides being "picky about food" ... and I felt so sad. Picky about food? That sounds so juvenile and ... overcome-able. Why can't I overcome it? I sit around large portions of the day feeling both guilty for not eating, a little hungry, a little oogy, and just *blank* when it comes to what to eat. It goes beyond not sounding good to just not being able to make myself make something. In the end I've been eating stupid things that aren't way off program, but aren't really good choices, either, like buttered noodles or leftover ramen noodles from the kids' lunches. Then I feel bad because it isn't how I wanted to eat. Maybe "just do it" is the answer, regardless of what I think I want. But I don't know how to get over the hump of just not wanting it.
Blah blah blah! I'm sure there are better things for you to be reading.
In other news, I think my cat is sick. I think I need to take him to the vet. And then I need to decide, do I have them do tests that might be invasive and harmful to him, to determine what he's dying from? Or do I just have them confirm that he's dying. A few weeks ago The Grand Lunar pointed out that the cat seemed skinnier. I wasn't sure at first. But the more I watch him, the more I think GL is right, the cat is slowly slipping away. Last night he was laying on the little shoe mat by the front door, at the top of the basement stairs. Laying there as if coming up the stairs had drained him, and he needed to rest. He hasn't been coming in to sleep on my feet, nor sleeping under the blankets of our bed, this past week. Any one of those things, alone, might not mean much. But with all of them together ... it just doesn't seem he's doing well.
But I don't want to call the vet and set final things in motion.
Nor do I want him to be suffering here. I can't tell if he's suffering. He doesn't seem to be in pain. He just seems sad and tired. Which I can relate to, only I don't think my sad and tired is serious, and my gut tells me that his is.
So ... that's what's up today. Maybe you would've been better off not reading an entry here.
Why not head on over to Treadmarks -- after years of preparation and months of good-byes, this little family has picked up and moved to a far away land. Join them as they settle in. I promise, it's a much better read, on so many levels, than the slop I'm serving here.
Posted by Kim at March 2, 2007 1:34 PMi always give bad advice, but i know how hard it is to eat when you are pregnant. not just eat healthy, but to eat at all. so cut yourself some slack right now and just eat what feels good. when things are better, you'll eat better.
Posted by: melissa at March 2, 2007 6:08 PMyour blog is still more interesting than other people's, even when you say it's boring. =)
sorry you are feeling blue, but i've been there too. every pregnant lady has. the key is don't be a perfectionist. definitely cut yourself some slack. you are pregnant and you know you are going to do the best you can. don't be so hard on yourself, k?
i'm sorry about your cat, too. i feel so bad for you! pets become such wonderful parts of our lives. we know when we adopt them that someday we'll have to say goodbye. i'm praying that God will give you wisdom on what to do, whether to go to the vet or what...
i'm praying for you right now, kim. *hugs to you*
Posted by: Shambleyqueen at March 2, 2007 8:05 PMI'm sorry you're feeling oogie. This too, shall pass....eventually. (())
Posted by: Rosanne at March 2, 2007 8:06 PMhmmm so being picky about food is juvenile? If that's truely the case then I'm juvenile right there with you and I don't even have the excuse of expecting a baby to blame.
Sorry about your cat. One of our cats was ill recently and we had to do the vet thing. Not fun and not cheap. Hope you can figure out what you need to do or not do for poor kitty.
Posted by: Chris at March 2, 2007 9:31 PMKim, it's okay to not feel like eating. It's even perfectly normal--because your stomach feels icky, so of course, you don't want to put anything in it!!! Even though it may not be part of your diet program, grab a few cans of Ensure and let them get really cold, then drink them. At least you will be getting the protein and vitamins that your body needs for this early part of pregnancy. Your appetite will return, probably with a vengeance, and you will start wanting to eat again!!!
On the cat--I'm so sorry, but I think you probably ought to take kitty to the vet. What you're describing sounds pretty serious.
I hope your weekend starts going better!!
Posted by: Theresa at March 2, 2007 9:48 PMYea, I know what you mean. It's been crazy around here and I'm hardly able to get around to the blogs I read. I need more hours in a day.
Posted by: Michelle at March 3, 2007 2:12 AMPicky about food? No, honey, it's called pregnant. Take a breath, eat what and when you can and pray your way through it. Perhaps it would be a good "service" job for the children to be assigned a few minutes a day to provide comfort to kitty in his last days. Circle of life stuff, you know...
Posted by: Peggy at March 3, 2007 12:03 PMI'm sorry about your food situation. If it doesn't sound good, then it just doesn't sound good. That's why it's called morning sickness, it makes you sick. blech!
I'm sorry about your cat too. That's always sad. :-(
Posted by: Shari at March 3, 2007 10:36 PM((((Kim))))
I'm so sorry about your cat. Please let me know how he's doing.
How many weeks are you? What is your official due date?
Have a wonnnderful weekend!
Posted by: Robin at March 3, 2007 10:59 PMKim:
After six lovely versions of Andfam kiddoes, you know the routine well. Eat what will be good for a baby's development, but if you can't stomach anything right now, don't sweat it. Before long, the oogies will pass. You've been down this road before. It's not about perfection...it's about doing the best you can under the circumstances. So chill, baby, chill...
Your kitty's symptoms sound a lot like what happened to our Panther. Turned out he was in kidney failure, and the vet told us frankly (and compassionately) that he WAS in pain, but that cats are wired not to show that. It's a survival instinct in them. His condition would only deteriorate over time and his pain would increase. Although it was heartbreaking for us, we had him put down. We know it was the right thing to do now.
Praying for strength for you for each and every day!
Love, Betsy
Posted by: Betsy at March 5, 2007 8:23 AM
