April 3, 2007
Purging the Junk
Our church as an annual yard sale to raise money for the youth mission trips. Or something like that. Truth be told, I don't usually pay a lot of attention to what the money goes to, although I know it's something "youthy" ... mostly I pay attention to the once a year chance to ditch stuff.
In my mind, each year, I will be packing our 15-passenger van FULL of the things that fill our basement, closets, shelves, and extra rooms, and take several trips to the church to pile up our stuff. I will return home to find my home sparse and decluttered, shiny clean, and easy to keep clean and organized.
Only in reality, each year, I pick a few larger items to part with, and then painfully spend hours staring at heaps and piles simply feeling lost. Not wanting to keep all the junk, but somehow not being able to efficiently divide into "keep" "toss" and "give away" ... instead, if I make any progress at all, it is to sort into a giant "don't know" and a giant "keep, I guess" and a tiny little "give away" and a small pile of "toss" ...
I emerge with my tiny piles feeling discouraged and overwhelmed.
It was the fall of '95, I believe, that I first heard of decluttering.
Yes, if you do the math you'll realize I was a grown woman at the time.
I had no idea that people decluttered at all, much less annually (or more often).
My close friend and mentor was telling me about her own personal annual yard sale. I was perplexed. If you didn't buy in order to resell, like our crazy neighbors growing up used to, then how did you get enough junk to have an ANNUAL yard sale? She was equally perplexed. Didn't I go through the house regularly and set aside things that were unused, unloved, or unnecessary, until there was a great pile to get rid of?
Turns out a lot of people DO do that! They don't duct tape their old shoes back together, they throw them out! They don't stockpile family games that no one liked, just in case some day someone decided to play them and DID enjoy them. They give them away! No way!
So that was over 10 years ago.
In those 10 years I have become comfortable with the concept of getting rid of junk. I even hold it up as an ideal -- freeing us from maintaining and storing useless junk will give me more space and time to enjoy the things we do like and need. In theory.
The problem is my ability to declutter is still sorely lacking. I have all the passion for the project. Just very little of the ability. I am so easily overwhelmed and defeated by the *closure* necessary to really choose what goes. Or even where to *start*. In fact, the thing I have grown best at is stockpiling empty boxes with the hopes of filling them with decluttered clutter. My basement is currently full of empty boxes. And ones filled with packing peanuts. Because you never know when you might need them.
Which brings me, many many paragraphs later, to my point.
I'm fast running out of time. The church yard sale is at the end of April. My chance to get rid of my junk without having to fold shirts neatly or guess at prices of things. (Please don't suggest I hold my own. No way! If ALL the work falls to me - not only the painful gut wrenching closure of decluttering but also the organizing, folding, and worst of all pricing, it will never ever get done. I'd rather live in the basement than have to do all that myself. So don't say it. Don't. even. think. it.)
I only have a few weekends left, and several of those are busy. We have a guest coming, and a long weekend away. If I am not careful the chance to declutter will slip away.
I am considering giving the older children independent school work for the rest of this week, and using my "best morning energy" (well, that which I didn't squander blogging, anyway) to work on decluttering. Fortunately my big kids really do work well independently. Unfortunately, I am not sure *I* do. I am a little worried that I will spend my mornings staring blankly at the heaps and heaps of stuff, with little actually making it into boxes and bags that go away.
But even a little would be better than none.
Right?
Posted by Kim at April 3, 2007 8:50 AMKim....sigh....SOOOOO with you on this one.
Except my boxes have been in the garage.
- we just burned a bunch of them...and still have some
- and the SORTING!
I can't talk about it.....
Posted by: Polly at April 3, 2007 9:48 AMYou really should read that book about decluttering that I blogged about....I DID blog about it... didn't I? *blushes and slinks away*
Anyhow, it gets a lot more into the "why" of decluttering, as in, why do we cling to things? What do they really mean to us? It's not a quick-fix type of book, but one to read to help adjust our way of thinking about the things in our lives.
Hey, did you know that the emoticons still show up on the comment preview box? I can't use them, but it's nice to see them again. LOL
Posted by: Rosanne at April 3, 2007 10:37 AMMy husband wants to declutter too. I'm very much like you. I hate seeing the piles, but I'm so overwhelmed with the monumental task of sorting. He even wants to have a garage sale. I told him I would help him go through some stuff (I need to keep an eye on him as he is very much the we-haven't-used-this-in-a-while-let's-get-rid-of-it type, and I am more yes-we-haven't-used-it-for-a-while-but-you-never-know-when-we-might-need-it type), but the actual sale is his baby. I really dislike the thought of someone looking over my items thinking "boy, they have really lame stuff!"
But I guess it is inevitable...or we get a bigger house...
Posted by: Mama Mia at April 3, 2007 12:41 PMMama Mia ~
That's totally why I do the church yard sale. LOL. I figure the stuff is mostly anonymous once it gets into the church, so no one will know whose lame stuff they're mocking. Plus hopefully they won't know which decluttering loser put that stained shirt that no one will ever want into the box, just because it was a really LOVED shirt before it got stained and surely someone more diligent could get that stain out ...
Don't just get a bigger house, though, then you'll just have even MORE rooms to declutter and that's even MORE discouraging. Trust me on that.
Posted by: Kim at April 3, 2007 12:46 PMHere's another problem I'm running into: To declutter efficiently you need some semblance of order, so that you don't just make more heaps that need to be gone through later. But to get the space and storage to have that order, you need to declutter ... you need the room to work and the empty boxes to use and a plan for only going through things once. Which, if I had, I wouldn't need to declutter as much.
I hate sorting.
Posted by: Kim at April 3, 2007 12:47 PMSet up your independent big kids and call over one of your cleanie friends for the sole purpose of keeping you on task. That way, you'll have fun, condense your purge to one day, and have a personal coach as it were, to keep you motivated.
Cleanies love this kind of thing and being able to organize other people's stuff is like a cleanies dream! Lol! Bless them!
Posted by: For a Season at April 3, 2007 1:03 PMFor a Season is right! Invite me over and I'll help!
Posted by: karen at April 3, 2007 4:55 PMI have certain areas of weakness...the fabric, fiber and other craft stuff that I might "need" some day. Books are hard to get rid of, and I am guilty of hanging onto games that no one plays. I have gotten a bit better with clothes although there are still some hanging in my closet that I think I might wear, but never do. (Or I might shrink to fit in again--HA!)
I suggest you designate some area for all your give-away stuff and then haul it to the church as soon as you are possibly allowed. Once they start accepting donations you start hauling away...one box at a time if necessary.
You CAN do it, Kim! I've got confidence in you! :-D
Posted by: BusyHSmom at April 3, 2007 10:36 PMKim,
I'm not one of those cleany friends. Don't invite me over to declutter, because we'll both just end up eating a huge plate of chocolate chip cookies and commiserating with each other. And that would be bad because then you'd be off-program and in a house full of clutter.
Posted by: Barbie at April 3, 2007 10:53 PMI too agree with For a Season. And invite Karen over right away. When I show up, I will help if you want me to. There's no right or wrong about decluttering. If you are unsure about an item, toss it. Keep only what you are sure you want. If you throw something out that you later find you need, poll your friends and I guarantee someone will have what you need.
What are your thoughts about my garden plan for you? Love ya.
Posted by: Linda at April 3, 2007 11:18 PMOh, one more thing. I once went to a decluttering workshop given by Karen Kingston where she gave us all permission to throw away books!! We were aghast, but she reminded us that they are just paper, and it's ok to throw away (or recycle preferably) paper. We clutterbugs need a bit of that ruthlessness. Or rationality.
Posted by: Linda at April 3, 2007 11:21 PMYou can have my books when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers.
But for the rest of it, take one drawer. Organize it. Then celebrate! (NOT with a cookie.) You're half done! (Well begun is half done, right?) Now pick another place. NOT a room, just a spot. Stand back and enjoy how pretty that spot looks when you're done. Don't look at the whole job at once, don't think about the "junk room." Just do one teeny tiny spot at a time. Each success will give you a boost to tackle the next spot. And be sure you stop, have a glass of iced tea (or your cool refreshment of choice) and ENJOY the prettiness of the newly decluttered area. Take a picture, it lasts longer!
Posted by: Peggy at April 4, 2007 8:50 AMdon't invite me over...I'll just tell you how cool all your stuff is...and either talk you into keeping it, or take home stuff I don't need! LOL!
Posted by: Polly at April 9, 2007 12:36 PM
