April 16, 2007
Still More Not Knowing
well ...
I haven't received the clarity I prayed for.
On the 'good news' side, my midwife said my uterus felt the right size and firm, she's felt some pre-miscarriage ones that felt 'enlarged but soft' and mine wasn't soft. She heard some possible placental noises but she wasn't sure.
But we couldn't get any heart tones for the baby.
But we both remember having trouble getting them this early on be before. Especially when I had the bleeding with little D. We heard them just fleetingly, just enough to give us a glimmer of hope, with LittleD, but then we could not confirm them or get them back.
So ... it was all just very inconclusive.
Really, it's all very similar to what it was like when I bled with LittleD, except for not getting fleeting heart tones this time. But that doesn't really mean anything, either.
I called my regular doc and said I didn't have a regular OB and could I come in? The lady treated me like I was an idiot for not seeing anyone earlier than 13 weeks. They can't get me in until 3 pm tomorrow to see the doc, and then the ultrasound would be separate after that, and I'm supposed to chaperone Iliacat's choir at 4 pm. So I left the tentative appointment at 3 pm but said I wasn't sure I could get out of my commitment. But I didn't like the way they talked to me.
I called urgent care, but they send people to ER for this sort of thing.
And ...
I'm struggling with the fact that it's not really an emergency. I mean, if the baby's in trouble, it's too early gestationally to *DO* anything but wait and rest and pray. I would hate to take ER time and ER doctors from more pressing emergencies.
As I was writing this, I heard back from The Grand Lunar. I've been too back-and-forth to make a decision, so I asked him, so we'll go with what he suggested. He recommends waiting and resting more, rather than messing with going to the doc or ER.
Please pray that waiting a week will provide more answers than today did.
:(
***
but in lighter news ...
I was crying, then stopped. Then the doorbell rang. It was the neighbor. So I called the big kids who whooshed down to come play. It was AFTER talking with the neighbor that one of the kids said to me, "What's wrong, mom, you have black lines down your face!"
Apparently my new mascara isn't waterproof.
Posted by Kim at April 16, 2007 4:04 PM((())) I'm sorry you didn't get a clear answer. Continuing to pray.
Posted by: Rosanne at April 16, 2007 4:16 PMi wish things were more conclusive for you today. i will still be praying for the best.
Posted by: melissa at April 16, 2007 4:35 PMAlso continuing to pray ... do you think it could be a progesterone deficiency? Aren't late 1st trimester, early 2nd trimester bleeding and miscarriages often caused by low progesterone? Just a possibility to pray about and consider testing for.
I'm sorry the Dr's office was rude, but glad the Grand Lunar gave you direction to follow.
Posted by: April at April 16, 2007 4:36 PMKeeping you and your little one in prayer!
Posted by: Janne at April 16, 2007 4:36 PMKim...I think hubby has the right idea. K has had lots of experiences with births, and if she thinks the uterus feels right, I'd take that as a positive sign.
As a matter of fact, I recommend that you take heart and trust that all is well. DO slow down, and rest, and pray, and don't exert yourself. That may help stop the bleeding. As far as your chaperone duty goes, first things first. Take care of yourself and the baby. There are at least fifty other people that could take your place at choir.
Betsy
P.S. Please don't let the dr.'s office comments upset you. We all know you're no idiot. Ignore the rudeness and do what needs to be done.
Posted by: Betsy at April 16, 2007 4:44 PMContinuing to pray...listen to Betsy and REST. Take care of yourself and your little one!
Love, Erin
Posted by: Mama Mia at April 16, 2007 6:25 PMKim, I'm still praying for you. Docs can be so mean! They probably don't understand anyone not getting hysterical and demanding to be seen RIGHT NOW!
Don't let them bother you. Stick with the midwife and try to rest and think good thoughts. It's nice that you have someone next door who can come in and let you bend their ear awhile about everything.
She must be a good friend if you were willing to show her your Alice Cooper look....
:)
continuing to keep you and your baby in prayer...i hate waiting. waiting stinks. but it draws us closer to Him...
i would definitely try and find someone else to take your place as chaperone though. please rest.
lots of hugs,
stace
Kim, we are continuing to pray. Take care of yourself. I'm sure that as much as you want to be at your daughter's event, that SHE wants you and the baby to be taken care of!
Posted by: Theresa at April 16, 2007 7:09 PMDearest Kim, we are continuing to pray, the girlies and I. (((((hugs))))
Posted by: Robin at April 16, 2007 7:33 PMI'm still praying for you, Kim. Can I please do something for you? Take some kids off your hands? Clean something? Come over and chat? Anything you need, let me know. {{{hugs}}}
Posted by: Barbie at April 16, 2007 9:12 PMOh Kim, I'm sorry you didn't get the reassurance you wanted...trust the Lord, HE knows absolutely what is going on and what will and will not come to pass!
I wish I could bring you dinner tonight!
Prop your feet up and rest the rest of the week....let someone else do the choir thing! :)
Posted by: Polly at April 16, 2007 10:03 PMThe ONLY people I've ever wanted to take physical violence against have been receptionists and nurses at doctor's offices - especially OB doctors. Like the one that said I'm not pregnant until the DOCTOR says I'm pregnant.
Yeah, right.
Posted by: Peggy at April 17, 2007 10:20 AM
