How has it been 10 years?

It's been TEN years since my first son was born.

It's hard for me to believe. He's a whole decade old!

I was reading on a blog not to long ago and the writer was talking about a great family trip and said, "These are the things you'll never forget!"
or something like that.

But you know ... life goes by SO fast. And there's SO much going on.

Take pictures. You can never have too many reminders.

Here's just a few ...

Still likes playing in the snow:

Still likes cake and computers:

Still climbs trees, still a great big brother:

Still a cute, happy, great to have son:

Happy 10th Birthday, Gark!!!!

I love you, my boy.

Taking a Breather ...

Whooooohhhh.

That's me, taking a breather.

I realized this afternoon, while wandering slowly and rather blankly at the grocery store, that my meager efforts to get the house ready for company had, proportionately, accomplished very little. And that the time remaining was very very short.

So after dinner we made a list on the freezer (we have a big magnetic calendar that's rarely used as a calendar, but makes a decent white board) of all the things I could think of that we needed to do to get ready. I divided them into "Must Do" and "If There's Time" and then divvied them up between me and the children. I assigned a few to work in the room where the littles were watching a video and we tackled the list.

We made good progress. I stretched bedtime pretty late to take advantage of Big Kid Power. But eventually it was just plain bedtime, and the kids had to call it a night. Plus I was out of jobs that were easy to assign to the young-to-middles who need simpler jobs and/or a lot of guidance. Some of the jobs even made things worse, like having them Mr. Clean Magic Erase one particularly bad hand-print on the wall? Makes the one spot clean and the rest of the wall look like a nightmare. It's like a spotlight drawing attention to the wall. I guess I'm supposed to wash those things sometimes. Or repaint. But that won't get done tonight. Anyway, jobs like "organize the snack cupboard" don't go over so well for the 7-and-under crowd. Well, actually, even *I* have trouble with jobs like that. It's just not in me to organize well, although Lord knows I try. I swear it takes me 4 times the time and effort for half the results. You're probably wondering why something like that is even on my list. Maybe you're so naieve as to think I have things like that on my list because most of the Big Work (like washing guestroom bedding and scrubbing bathroom floors) is well under control. Ha HA, I say to you, you do not know me well enough. The reason "organize snack cupboard" is on the "if there's time" list is because I am afraid Linda might open the cupboard, looking for something, and have 60 bags of odds and ends snacks come tumbling down upon her. She might be buried in hundreds of bags, each containing the last inch of cashews or pretzels or who knows what else. That's why they're still there, *I* am not even sure what's in there. I just buy new stuff and cram it in the front and the junk in back gets compressed further.

Of course, if you get right down to it, that's only one of many avalanches waiting to happen. Because I am nothing if I am not a piler-and-stasher. OH, the grief I cause myself with my piling and stashing. Sometimes, even as I do it, I think "This is a terrible place to heap this object" and yet I am helpless to do anything different. A Home for Everything, and Everything in it's Home ? Of course I follow that rule. As long as "home" means somewhere in this house. Or yard. Or garage. it's all in it's home somewhere.

So... what? Where was I? Oh yeah, taking a breather before re-tackling the list, alone. Because now my helpers, from excellent and not-so-much are in bed. And I've got miles to go before I sleep.

Miles to go.

must ...

get...

off...

internet.

I Would Walk Five Hundred Miles

... and I will walk five hundred (or) more ...

As of today, I have walked

in 2006.

I award myself with this shiny gif. Being a quitter at heart, this is quite an accomplishment!

I wish to thank my family, for not falling to pieces while I was walking in their midst. My husband, for letting me buy pedometers and endless walking videos. My dear friend Rosanne, for beginning the monthly challenge in the first place. The guy at the hospital wearing the "I walked 1000 miles" shirt who was the inspiration for the larger goal. Leslie Sansone for cheerfully encouraging me, day after day, without ever growing weary. And all of you who have encouraged me, especially when I was flagging, slumping, slouching, and about to give in. I couldn't have done it without you.

Ticker keeps on Ticking

I have to post again because TickerFactory now 'updates' their tickers rather than making new ones each time. So if I change my ticker in one place, it'll change everywhere, including last night's post.

I walked 3 miles today. So now I've only got TWO miles to go. I'm so excited to be nearly at goal that I almost walked another two, LOL.

Here's my new ticker, which will probably look just like the one in the post below, but really, the one below SAID 5 miles at the time I posted it, LOL.

4 days to go. Only 2 miles left!

Um ... was there anything else I needed to tell you, while I was here?

No, I don't think so. I should get to work, I've got company coming on Friday and am taking a meal somewhere tonight, so I need to be busy today.

Oh, and I need to go fill my bird feeders. Sigh. Those squirrels can empty it in half a day, no matter what I try. I could become consumed with unsuccessfully trying to outwit squirrels, I think.

*yawn* it's late!

I'm staying up late, hanging out with my knitting, while I'm waiting for my friend Michelle deMoose to post "after" pictures of her hair cut. Michelle has gorgeous long hair and has decided to get long layers cut into it, but keep the length. She said she'd post pictures when she got back. Granted, she had an evening appointment and then some shopping to do after, and is in a different time zone than I am, but still ... certainly she must be home by now? It's 11:40 pm here. How late would you stay up to see someone's hair? LOL!

In the meantime, here's a little update for you:

I better get that posted before midnight, LOL! Do you see that? 5 days, 5 miles to go. -- I think I'm going to make it! Yeah!

What should my goal be for next year?

I like the challenge of miles. But then again, it discourages me from non-walking exercise. Sometimes I think some kick boxing would be fun, but then I don't want to miss out on any miles. But then again, I'm less likely to spend tons of money on new exercise videos if I stick to walking. I thought about doing minutes, but I'm not sure that would seem as exciting of a goal. I need it specific, like the number of miles. If I just say "my goal is X days a week" it's not like I'm working TOWARDS something. You know? So maybe I'll do another 500 miles. I could do more, if I stuck with it all year. But I don't know. 600 miles? Hm. I'm not sure.

Anyway, I guess I'll go refresh my discussion board, again, and see if Michelle has posted her hair yet. Do you think she thought I was joking when I said I'd be waiting at the computer to see it?

Well, I'll carry on with my knitting, as I wait. At least as long as my eyes will still focus. Which I don't think will be much longer.

Merry Christmas! Have a Card!

Well, I still haven't done my Christmas Cards yet.

So Here's the Christmas Card you didn't get.

I got this far, I made this picture:

I thought I sent it to The Grand Lunar for his approval, but I think I sent it to his work email while he was home, so he hasn't seen it yet? Or he hates it and is too polite to reply.

My original plan was actually a real-cartoon hybrid, with our faces in the cartoon pic, but that takes a fair amount of time which I've squandered on knitting. :-)

Then we took these two real pictures yesterday at mom's. They're not bad.

So there you have it. The closest I've come this year to any Christmas Communication with the outside world. It's not quite the same as stamped and mailed, but you have to admit it's better than nothing, right? Just be glad you're a blog reader, or you'd number yourselves among the many who wonder what's become of us and think we've fallen off the face of the earth.

And if they happen to ever become REAL cards, and appear in your mailboxes, it'll be a bonus, eh?

Someday I will be a better communicator.

No, really. I'll send cards, maybe even on time. I'll not only remember birthdays (which I do now, most of the time) but also get gifts and send cards out in a timely matter. 'Cause what good does it do for me to think fondly of you if you never find out?

Okay, okay, enough of that.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

As you enjoy the time off this holiday, do remember the reason. For God so loved you, that He sent His one and only Son, that if you would believe in Him you would not perish, but enjoy eternal life with Him. For while we were still in rebellion against Him, and didn't even want His love and mercy, He chose to act to save us, to reunite us with Him, because of His love for us.

May His Name be glorified in all the earth! Emmanuel, God with us.

Have a wonderful day.

I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin ...

I am working on a project!

A Knitting Project.

A Top Secret Knitting Project.

I am *totally* making up what I am doing. Well, sort of. I have no pattern, but two inspiration pieces. One which I saw, lost, and couldn't find again. The other which is actually a crochet pattern. I don't know how to crochet.

Ha ha! Doesn't that sound like fun?

I'm actually very excited about it.

But I can't show you yet.

Because it's Top Secret.

I finished The Poncho!

You remember I was working on a poncho, right? The one I had to frog, twice?

I finally finished it!!!!

My first non-dishcloth project!

It ... um ... didn't turn out exactly like I envisioned it. But, to be fair, I didn't really follow the pattern, either. Not that I didn't "trust the pattern". (I take it that's a knitting mantra?) but because I wanted to do my own thing. Why? Because I'm Kim. It's how I cook. It's how I live. And, apparently, it's how I knit.

Here's the original pattern, for those interested.

I knit on much bigger needles, for one thing. Going for that open look. Which you can see I achieved. And every 8 rows or so I added in the fluffy pink yarn for a knit-purl-knit set of 3 rounds. In retrospect I found that the K YO K YO K pattern down the middle doesn't look very tidy if you're knitting on oversized needles. And I should've knit the YO pattern even on the Purl rows, I think. Oh, and I was going to do the fringe, but decided at the end not to. But it turned out interesting, eh? And we like it. LOL.

The biggest surprise was that as I was knitting in the round, to to bottom, I never could get a good feel for how it would hang, because the bottom was always bunched in the coil of the needles. I forgot how the YO increase would angle it, so I knit until I thought it would be a little past waist length on Eminoodle.

But that was the short sides, and the long ends turned out, well, really l o n g.

One thing I'm a little not-sure-of is why my angle of increase is so much greater. I did re-read the pattern and it sounds like you do the K YO K YO K portion front and back, which I did, which adds 4 stitches per round. But hers made a tidy ~90 degree point and my is, well ... so long. Is that because of the big needles? Wouldn't that make it proportionally bigger in both directions? Or maybe I'm knitting goofy, doing something wrong. I might be. I just started, I don't really know what I'm doing.

Although I am having fun, what with the knitting stuff.


Anyway. As you can see, the poncho looks great ... as long as you pose like this:

Here's a little detail of the knit:

If I had to do it over again, would I do it the same?
Well, I don't like to cook the same exact thing twice. I don't think I'd want to knit the same thing twice, either. I do need to make another since this one was intended for Eminoodle but is too long for her. So this will go to Iliacat, and I will make a similar-but-different one for Noodle.

Since I have to do it over again, will I follow the pattern this time?
Ha ha! Of course not. What's life if you can't Kimodify? But I do plan on knitting hers on the smaller needles, just to compare. I think I'll keep the same pattern of occasional pink fluff rows, but knit the YO portion of the purl rounds. At least, that's my vague plan. I guess you'll find out when I do, LOL.

In unrelated news, my hardly-a-baby Buzz loves these hats Iliacat and Moogie knit on the Nifty Knitters. He's always putting them on and wearing them around. He's as cute as cute comes, don't you think?

I'm a tree! A tree!

Found this on Becky's blog.

You Are a Tree

You love every part of the holidays, down to the candy canes and stockings. And you're goofy enough to put a Christmas tree ornament on your tree!

Actually, I have at least 4 trees on my tree. Is that goofy? I had no idea.

Also, way back when I first reported the mold thing, several of you asked to see pictures of the completed tree. I wasn't ignoring you, so much as I was ignoring finishing the tree. In fact, it's still not done, I need to grace it with the box of Star Trek Ornaments. And the red sproingies. Christmas decor is a little frustrating for me because I don't really get it. I mean, I like it and it makes the house feel Christmasy, but I don't *decorate* well. I wish I had a little touch of Christmas in each room, but I don't really know how to, and where would I store all that stuff the rest of the time?

ANnnnnnyway, here's the mostly-but-not-quite-finished-tree:

This year I added the puffy garland, which I bought when I thought we'd lose most of our homemade ornaments. But we really lost very few.

Oh, we also did a craft yesterday! I'm not much for a crafty mom. Maybe because I'm an artsy snob. But mostly because I'm never organized and tidy enough to deal with the mess crafts make. I often find the process frustrating and not warm and cozy like I imagine in my head. But this one was fairly easy, no one glued themselves to the table. Aren't they cute?

Maybe we'll do another craft. Someday.

From the Pit ...

Okay, if you didn't read my post from yesterday, go do that first, 'cause this follows it.

Okay, are you back? Good thing I didn't go on without you, huh?

I went looking for Beth Moore Bible studies the other week. I didn't find out until later that the studies are only sold through certain sites, but I found some of her books. There's one called "Get Out of that Pit" which sounded right up my alley.

So I ordered it but hadn't started reading it.

Until yesterday after I posted.

She starts by talking about what it's like to be in a pit. Made me bawl. Not a pretty sight. But I think that's what I was trying to describe, I've been in a pit. I'm in a pit.

With a name like muckfootmom, I guess that shouldn't surprise me!

And the best news? I don't have to stay in it and just try to make the best of it. I don't have to just tread water.

Or so she claims.

Half of me is wildly hopeful. Because this book really smacked with that "this is what you have been looking for" feeling. And it's not some magic method from man, from what I've read her books are soundly grounded in the Word. Her enthusiastic writing really points to the Lord, not something Beth Moore invented. So that's good. Exciting. Because I know at the root, that's where the answers are.

But half of me is reserved and afraid to get my hopes up. I think I've been in this pit a long time. I'm afraid I won't 'do it right' - whatever it is - to get out.

I'm not a long way into it, just a few chapters. Not to the "getting out" part.

So you'll have to stay tuned.

In the meantime, I'm pondering whether I need to figure out why/how I came to be in this pit. Some people have clear 'falling in' or 'jumping in' or 'pushed in' incidences. Oh, sure, I have some slips and some jumps and even maybe some pushes. But does which of those is most key matter? Should I try to pore over my past, my choices, my thinking? Or can I just climb out without too much dredging up and introspection?

Well, ramble ramble ... stay tuned. :-)

Oh, and I mean that in an 'over the next few days/weeks' sense, that is. You know me, if I stay awake to read one chapter that'll be a miracle. Don't stay tuned glued to your computers TODAY. I don't think that fast.

LOL.

You want an entry? I'll give you an entry!

I'm not promising a good entry, though.

I've already forgotten what it was I thought I was going to tell you. LOL.

Although the kids are over the bug, the tiredness seems to be lingering. The Grand Lunar seems to have a minor non-barfing case of the bug. Me? Out of the question. I'm busy, busy, dreadfully busy. Who would post on my blog if I got sick, for example?

Anyway.

Do you ever feel as if, Spiritually, you are unfocused? And that, while you're unfocused and unable to see well, you have a great sense that something is happening, or should be happening? And that you'd be a part of it, that you're supposed to be a part of it, if you could just *focus* ...

I've felt that way a lot, lately. But that feeling is the *best* my 'vision' seems to get, the rest of the time I sink back into an even less focused blur.

It kind of reminds me of my labor & delivery with Gark. This is back before I knew about natural childbirth and had only been taught the medical choices. I'd had an unpleasant experience with drug A with Iliacat's birth, and so I thought I'd try drug B to "take the edge off the pain" with Gark. Instead I just felt *drugged*. I was unable to focus and pay attention. I felt like I was down underwater and the 'real world' was up above and I couldn't really see it or get there. I was watching it from a distorted distance, and being away from it wasn't very pleasant. When I would then have a contraction, the contraction would pull me up into the real world where I couldn't get *ahead* of it to even try to relax, like being dragged up to the surface and sputtering, trying to catch your breath and bearings, but the contraction would end and I would sink down out of focus and touch again. It was unsettling.

Anyway, that's sort of how I've felt spiritually. I'm swamped down below - not swamped in the "oh, I'm so busy" sense but in the waterlogged and sunk to the bottom sense. Sometimes I can see a glimmer of sunlight up above, sometimes sermons and discussions pull me towards the surface. Although I don't break through, I come a little closer, can see there's important things going on up there, and I want to get there, I want to get up out of the water, back to the 'real world' only the glimmer of light fades and I find myself sinking back.

I know all the 'rules' of swimming, in this sense. Read your Bible, pray, etc., cry out to God if you're drowning.

Sometimes I figure I must be drowning since I seem unable to keep 'swimming', reading, praying, etc ... and yet I'm not dying, it's not like I'm losing my faith, not like I don't believe ... but I'm just not getting to that surface. I'm not getting to whatever is out there, nagging at me, the 'real world' where things are important and things are in focus. Where there is light and clarity and purpose of moments ... it's where I want to be, but I can't seem to get there, even with crying out as best as I am able.

Hm.

I have no tidy way to end this. So I'll just abruptly stop.

of Barf and Bags but not Barf Bags

Barfing Report:

A scene from yesterday:

The children mostly slept all day. Today my first inkling they're mostly better was the energy being back. Including the energy to play and shout and bicker with enthusiasm.

Since ~ 2 am this morning, we have been barf free.

I spent the night on the couch to be a First Responder, and still jumped up at every cough and bump all night, but was able to sleep longer stretches in between and at least get some sleep. That was nice.

However, the bug seems to have about a 2-day incubation period, so we will not be officially out of the woods until late Saturday night. And if the 19 month old is any gauge, there may also be an eye of the barf storm which seems to be "better" but is not. So, I'm hopeful but not holding my breath.

BUT!

Yesterday I got the most lovely surprise in the mail! My friend Becky sent me a beautiful hand-crocheted bag that she made herself! In Kim Colors! You can tell a color is good if it matches my kitchen! LOL!

I have to say I'm in awe, I have no idea what it takes to make such amazing things.

This morning my 5 year old said "is that a hat?" - he was sick during The Great Unveiling yesterday and hadn't seen it yet.

What do you think, could it be a hat, too?

"No, is a bog!" said my 3 year old. Bog means bag, in LittleD Speak, by the way. He wasn't fooled.

The bestest surprise was the beautiful bag held fancy pantsy chocolate!

Thank you so much, Becky! You're the greatest!!

Too Tired To Blog

I took pictures today that I was going to show you.

But it's 11:10 p.m. and I'm mentally gearing up for another night of barf-o-rama. So I might not want to stay up cropping and posting pictures? You'll wait patiently until tomorrow, right?

Ha, that reminds me, that hotel we stayed at last weekend? There was a sign on the desk that said "Thank You For Your Patients." Ha ha!

But you know, now that I look at the word patientLY up there, I see they're spelled the same in those two words. So why is patience different? Hmm it's a mystery. Maybe one of you using the WISE guide can tell me. What? We use that? Oh yeah. But I still don't know. But I can guess. "LY never follows ce?" I don't know. It's late and I'm sleep deprived.

So to recap the night ~ after the hilarious start, I had - literally - someone barfing every 15 minutes or less, the entire night. Until 5:15 or so, when there was a brief 45 minute barf-hiatus. Only I didn't get to sleep then, because Buzz woke up crying. I nursed him until he was dozy, but he screamed when I put him down. I tried to let him cry awhile, but it woke up the Grand Lunar, so I went back in to snuggle & nurse Buzz again. While GL was up the cat even took a turn barfing up a hairball. I guess he felt left out.

Anyway, buzz went back to sleep about 5:45 and someone barfed at 6, and so on. I got a few <15 minute cat naps through the night.

The day was better, less barfing and more sleeping for the children, and more barfing into the proper bowls, less barfing on clothes and blankets. I stayed on top of the laundry and dishes. GL came home at noon to spot me for a few hours so I could nap. I got about 3 hours with only one interruption, so that isn't too bad.

Tonight the barfing is on the increase, Iliacat finally caved to it, despite valiant efforts to rebel against the bug. GL and I are still hanging in here. Actually, at the moment, I feel fine, just planning on another long night of little sleep and much barf-and-laundry.

So, it sure took me a long time to say all that. Sheesh.

Okay, so the point is - still sick, not dead, more later with pictures. Not of barf. LOL!

Oh, and since I was up and running around all night and day, I didn't get my *walking* in, but I got up to 5.31 miles -- 13525 steps! I'm so cool! LOL! I think I did a better job of housework today than average. LOL. But then again, I've always worked better under pressure. I think that's part of my daily struggle, there's few read deadlines and pressure.

ANYway, I'm going to tuck myself in on the couch and wait for the next barf.

Pride cometh before a fall ...

Get a load of this quote from an email I sent to my friend:

We’re down with the Tuesday-after-the-Sunday-nursery barfs. Buzz started throwing up Tuesday morning, and Tobi-Wan chimed in tonight (Wednesday). I’m just waiting for the other 4 (5 if you count The Grand Lunar. 6 if you count me, but I don't, 'cause I don't get sick.) shoes to drop. GL went to bed early.

... I’m up late to fold laundry and make sure I’m ready with the towels and rags and carpet cleaner and new jammies and blankets and all the rest that comes with potential-to-barf children. I’m proud of myself, I packed a big bowl with rags and cleaners and placed it on a big towel so I’ve got a kit by the stairs, should someone need it. My guess is that Tobi-Wan will be throwing up in the night ~ hopefully he will wake and grab his bowl, but I’m not counting on it.

Ahhh, I was so proud of the bowl and cleaners.

Then I heard Gark sputter. I was already on my way up the stairs when he came down, to tell me he felt sick, I guess. Threw up ALL over the stairs and wall.

"Get! to! the! bathroom!" I hissed. Lovingly. Urgently.

He turned and ran back up the stairs to the bathroom doorway (which is, coincidentally, right next to his bedroom.) And threw up all over the bathroom.

"Get! to! the! toilet!" I hissed again, helpfully. Poor boy is standing with his toes in the hallway, trying to projectile vomit past the floor mess that he won't step in, to the toilet.

I looked down at my woefully inadequate little packed tote. Started trying to clean up the carpeted stairs while he finished his business.

What in the world was I thinking, suggesting we order **pizza** for dinner when I knew we had a bug in the house with the potential for spreading? Man, there's nothing worse than cleaning up regurgitated sausage pizza, I tell you. I'm proud of myself for not barfing all over the steps, myself!

So I get the carped wiped and scrubbed and re-saturate it with carpet cleaner for good measure, and start on the bathroom. I needed several more rag runs. And discovered that regurgitated sausage pizza clogs the puny bathroom sink drain. So I had to fetch the drain cleaner, too. I wiped and scrubbed and bleached and lysoled everything except the post-drainO sink when I heard Little D start to barf.

Little D's barfing woke Buzz, who - while no longer sick - still is feeling tired and crabby. He was very not happy that I was puttering around the room not snuggling or feeding him. So I got LittleD's bedding and jammies changed and wiped up and gave him the bowl and instructions. He's 3.5, here's hoping he listened. And then nursed Buzz for a bit. I had to stop when I heard Gark barfing again.

Cleaned up the bathroom and bowl for Gark, and heard Little D calling - he wants it to be morning. He hates sleep, he says. He wants some cereal. And juice. And his tummy's hurts. That's how he says it. "My tummy's hurts." So I explained that it wasn't morning, that he was sick, and needed his rest. And his bowl. While Buzz cried - again - because I was back in the room.

I think that went back and forth a few times, but in between I folded laundry in 5 minute spurts, and re-piled rages and cleaners and bowls.

I was just sitting down to start blogging this - because it's funny, right? - when Iliacat came down to inform me that Eminoodle had barfed.

In her bed. All over her blanket, sheets, pillow, mattress pad, dust ruffle, bedside, wall, under the mattress somehow, and all over the floor. In the corner behind the bed. Soooo I removed all the bedding, got her into the bathroom, instructed her to change jammies, piled up dirty laundry, washed the mattress, bed, wall, and floor, remade the bed, called for her to get out of Gark's way so he could barf in the toilet, and tucked her back in bed.

I just took her bedding down to find that the lint sock had filled up too far and sprayed water all over the part of the basement that I *didn't* mop earlier. What is it with me and lint socks?

So I replaced the lint sock and set the washer to spin again.

And hurried here to blog.

Because, really, I don't know if it can get any funnier.

There's only 3 of us left untouched. Well, untouched if you don't count getting barfed on. That would be me, the barfed-on one. I'm guessing Iliacat will come up barfing yet tonight.

The Grand Lunar? I don't know. Here's hoping he's at least able to make it to the toilet.

Do you think I should give the bathroom near our bedroom a preemptive cleaning, so he has a fresh, sparkling place to vomit, should he need it?

**Bonus Tip**
If your children are barfing on bedding faster than you can do laundry, and you are scrambling, between barfs, to keep up? It helps to turn the dryer ON.

Candy Canes and the Elf thing

Sorry so many of you had trouble with the elf thing. Just keep trying, it sounds like they were featured on something this morning (Good Morning America?) and were swamped today. So try it again, it'll be fun. Truuuust me.

But, for those of you not broadband-impaired (sorry Rosanne & Kelly)

Here's something else to entertain you:

That's what Fun Mom and the kids did today. :-D

An early Christmas gift for you

I'm on my way to bed, but I realized I'll probably not get my Christmas cards sent out on time. Again.

So I'm sending you this, instead. Because I love you.

You have to click on the picture, there's more to it than just the picture.

I know, can you believe there's more? It boggles the mind.

Don't forget to click for the message

Handcrafted with love, for you, my faithful readers.

Special thanks to Hallie from Blue Thistle Books for the link! We wasted much time there today.

Oh, I don't know.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I know I confused a lot of you today.

No one is mad at me or offended at what I'd blogged.

I took down my old entries for now. I might put some or most back up. Eventually. Maybe.

It's mostly that something made me think about my barfing out my inmost thoughts for anyone to see. Like Peggy said, we wouldn't take out an ad or write an editorial all about how we're a feeling like a bad mom one day, or a horrible housekeeper the next. That just wouldn't be smart.

But sometimes I've done that. Maybe too much.

Blogging requires very little editing. Ha, at least the way *I* blog. I know there are bloggers who agonize over every word and phrase. But me? I just turn on the juice, there's already babble flowing in my head, and I just open the floodgates and it gushes out my fingers and on into web eternity.

That's one reason I figure much as I enjoy writing (er, rambling) I'll never be a "real" writer - a real writer has to go back over their work and cut out the fluff and clarify things. They have to use consistent and correct punctuation. They can't just ramble on and on. But bloggers can do all that and more. So I often don't think too much about the long term wisdom or helpfulness of why I write.

But it ends up kind of like a personal journal left out on a library table. Sure, your friends were there reading it, and that was cool, but what about the other people who might surf by and really decide you ARE a bad mom, because that's what you wrote about?

So what am I saying? I don't know. But I told you that in the title.

I'll still be honest. I won't turn into a twinkie blogger. I don't even know what that term means, having just made it up. I'm keeping it because I like it, but I still don't know what it means. Ha ha! But anyway, I guess I'm saying give me a little time to decide how much of my old catharsis I want laying around, and um ... there was something else I was saying that I've already forgotten.

See? I told you I'd still be me.

Love and kisses and mushy blog cheer,

Kim

Shaken, not stirred ...

There was a place I used to 'live' on the internet ~ a warm cozy safe haven as it were.

I haven't been 'living' there recently because ... welll ... I knew I should be living here in the real world. Sometimes it's hard to do both at once, you know?

Of course, my free time online has filled back up with other things, like blogging.

One characteristic I've carried through is trying to be honest. The real me.

Sometimes that comes across as negative. Sometimes as complaining.

As an extrovert, I do most of my thinking "out loud" -- either verbally or on paper or here on the internet.

One thing I've always appreciated is other people's honesty, openness, transparency. They feel like "real people". I've been to some blogs where every post is wound up in something nicey and devotiony. Which is fine, except sometimes it just feels fakey to me. The put on a happy, godly blog face. Maybe I'm just too cynical.

ANYway. A few things have happened. One is realizing that my think-out-loud trying to work through issues comes across as complaining. I really don't want to be known as a complainer. But I guess I have been very free with my struggles with things, often before I've really reached any conclusion, just trying to talk out to get to a conclusion. Sometimes my conclusion is that I need to choose contentment and leave the rest with the Lord. But of course, the complaining damage mid-process has already been spewed out there.

And then there was some incident at my former safe haven ... I wasn't there, I didn't hear it, but it made me feel like all my openness and honesty could come back and bite me in the b*tt.

You could go through my old thoughts, here, there, wherever I've been honest, pile up choice quotes, and I would sound really bad. I don't think I am really bad, but I think my honesty does come down pretty hard sometimes, and I am much more restrained posting about the good times.

Anyway, I feel bad. I feel like I need to be less me with you. Because I don't even know who all "you" are. I want to trust everyone, but that's not wise these days. Especially when you find out that even your safe places aren't so safe.

I'm sure I'm overreacting. I was having a bad sad day before this. But I don't know. I also want to be wise, and maybe posting every time I feel like I'm a bad mom is in the "unwise" category. You think?

What does this mean for the blog? I don't know yet.
Stay tuned to find out.

Did you want to come with us?

&We're on a date! overnight!

Did you want to come along? I'm sorry I didn't invite you. How rude.

You know ... Only nerds blog on their dates.

But that's okay, c'mon and join us. You're here, anyway. We wouldn't want to let you down.

Here's The Grand Lunar in our hotel room. The hotel isn't quite as fancy as I thought from online but it's nice enough, and high speed internet, free. Priorities, you know.

What the hotel lacks in up-to-date-swank they made up for in enthusiasm and cheerfulness. The front desk lady made us reservations at the niiice restaurant down the road, and told them it was our anniversary. We got a voucher for a free appetizer and custom menus!

;/center>

We also got fancy drinks and sparkling water.

And fancy dancy food:

Here's us, acting like rubes, taking pictures in the fancy dancy restaurant like we'd never been out before. See the fish behind me and the fish on the wall way back behind him?

There was this creeeepy eel in the tank behind me. He had horns in his nostrils and kept eeling around. Ew. But the dessert made up for it.

Well, okay, I'm gonna have to kick you out now. We've got more datin' to do. I'm just sayin'.

Thanks for stopping by our date!

Posted by Kim at 9:30 PM | Comments (13) | Entry Comments RSS

Then & Now - Finally

Finally!

Then & Now pictures.

It took me awhile to get around to scanning them. And we took an impromptu "now" picture. Not dressed up or nothin'. The real deal.

Here's the then ~ 14 years ago:

Us, one of my favorite pictures. My friend Bill Brown took it. Bill, whatever happened to you? Bill's sister Becky was my bridesmaid, and my sister Kelly was my maid of honor. I didn't make them wear foofy sleeves. Our wedding was fun.

Still us, this time gazing lovingly at each other:

More us ~ I included this so you could see my excellent foofy dress.

Us on our honeymoon in a waterfall, one of my favorite pictures:

Ha ha! It sounds like we took our whole honeymoon in a waterfall.

Well, maybe we did! Why not? We could have! For all you know. I'm just sayin'.

And now:

Hey, we're kinda cute! Just call us Salt n' Peppa

What else was I going to tell you? Oh, I'm up to 460 miles for the year! Only 40 more to go! Yeah! I can't believe I almost gave up!

What else? I've still been knitting. But I can't detract from excellent mushy gushy then and now pix with lame knitting so you'll have to wait a few days, LOL. I've got two dishcloths going and that poncho, still. I discovered "real" knitters have several projects on the needle at one time. LOL.

Oh, I see my camera is done importing the now pix, so I'll fix them up and post this, I don't want to keep you up all night!

P.s. -- still caffeine free!

D'Oh! I'm so behind in blogging!

I'm behind, way behind!

Which do you want me to blog about first?

Pictures of the Very Cute kids playing in the snow on Sunday?

Or a blog with "back then" (maybe then-and-now?) pictures for our ANNIVERSARY TODAY?

Or both? It's not like you have real lives to lead and can't just spend all day reading my blog, right?

Except I have to take a shower first. I walked 3 miles and did a little weight training. I couldn't do a lot because I hurt my hand. So I did stuff I could do without weights. But I didn't push myself to the fatigue point, which you're really supposed to. I just pushed myself until I got tired of it, LOL. No wonder I'm not lean and mean.

Oh, right, shower. Then blog. School? Yeah, maybe I'll squeeze it in somewhere. Cleaning? Ugh, let's change the subject. Back to shower. I'm going, i'm going. I'm sure you can smell me from there.